Learning the path of forgiveness

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Phillip T on March 15, 2010 at 3:32am

Roy,

I had a challenging childhood that was filled with much pain at times. I found much relief when I was able to forgive those that abused me. That was a decision I made that was not related to their actions that might merit forgiveness. In fact, I had often as child developed very elaborate torture sessions I would one day inflict on these people so I know a thing about hatred. Rather, the pain I was inflicting on myself was killing me. So I forgave others so that I might live and be free of the chains of hatred and anger that were slowly killing me. My forgiveness does not mean I forgot or that they deserve it. Rather, my forgiveness means I have given up my claims for revenge and desire that their lives be filled with pain and hurt like mine was. At first, I would go back and think no I will not forgive and then switch back and say yes I do. Pain in my life motivated my change. The more I held the anger the more it took from me.

Once I dealt with the big childhood issues (I had to have professional therapy and a men's sexual assault survivor group) I was better able to handle issues in my adult life. A few years ago, I was very much harmed by the actions of another at work. I finally forgave the person after I realized I was the only one being hurt by staying mad at the person. I had to pray every day that the person be granted joy, peace, and all of life's blessings for several months. In time, the anger and hatred left and now I have peace over what happened and toward the person. For me, forgiveness is a self-preservation act, it keeps me alive and frees me of the burden of hate. The people in my life may never know that I forgave them, forgiveness does not mean I need to tell them or like them. I like the word "AS" in the Lord's Prayer. Our own forgiveness is predicated upon our forgiveness of others. I hope you can learn to let go some so you can live a more joy filled and abundant life.

Peace,
Phillip

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by roy mercer on March 15, 2010 at 6:41am

Thanks Phillip,

Yes I believe I'm realizing that I've just been holding on to hatred and anger and bitterness, holding onto perhaps justificable resentments all the while these things are creating unnecessary suffering in my life and literally stealing the joy of living. I like the point you made about "As" our forgiveness is always in moderation to us forgiving others,

Thanks for your post
David

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Phillip T on March 15, 2010 at 10:00am

One saying you may have already heard is that resent is like taking poison and waiting on the other person to die from it.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Murray Downie on March 16, 2010 at 8:59am

Thanks Phillip and Roy.Forgiveness is a major in learning to Love.Afriend of mine said the other day One cannot love God more than the one you love the least. This is the Key. We must love our neighbour as ourselves. If we cant love ourselves how can we love our neighbour or even worse how can we love God because he made us.Roy you give us some wonderful discussions to work through. God bless you both

▶ Reply to This